2021/22 Premier League Review: Matchday 5
Respect is paid towards the Spurs legend, Jimmy Greaves. The highest scorer in England’s top-flight and the fourth-highest international goalscorer for England, the English Football Hall of Famer also took part in the 1970 London to Mexico World Cup Rally (finishing sixth out of ninety-six competitors).
On the flip side, Marcos Alonso publicly stated his intent to stop taking the knee after claiming the gesture is “losing strength” and instead will point towards the ‘no room for racism’ badge on his shirt. Perhaps he could take a steering wheel onto the pitch instead to bring light to his farcical drink driving case. Over the legal blood alcohol level limit and driving 40mph over the speed limit (70.1mph in a 30mph zone), Alonso killed his passenger after slamming into a wall. Ridiculously only facing a 21month prison sentence, his punishment instead changed to a measly €61,000 fine and just over a 3-year driving ban? Don’t ever believe that we are considered equal in the judicial system.
Catch up on the preview and predictions of Premier League Matchday 5 if you haven’t already, and have a good old laugh at our expense.
More interested in number crunching? Find out how each Pintsized predictor ranked this weekend on Football Statistics: Premier League Matchday 5.
Match of the Week
Brighton 2 – 1 Leicester. A huge statement win for Brighton. In a match that Leicester desperately needed to win to re-affirm their status as a top-six team, Brighton instead proved unruly upstarts. With enough time and faith, Graham Potter could create something very special at Brighton. Can’t be many fans with an issue for one of the UK’s party capitals offering a seaside away day.
Player of the Week
Vicente Guaita (3 Goals Conceded, 7 Saves, 2 Punches). It’s rather strange to include a goalkeeper in the player of the week, more so when that keeper lets in three in a losing effort, but the result was already written on the wall for Palace. Saving Vieira & Co a sorely embarrassing scoreline, Guaita pulled of a handful (pardon the pun) of excellent acrobatic saves in the first half to keep the score even. Only at fault for Liverpool’s second goal, a little too weak at his near post against Salah’s thundering volley, Guaita otherwise had a superb game.
Romelu Lukaku. Forget the stat line, Lukaku is featured here for just one reason. A meme of a long-range effort. What began as a daisy cutter, Lukaku’s shot bobbled off of Eric Dier’s wobble chops. Altering earthly physics, the ball proceeded to comically bounce before hitting the inside of the post. To cap it all off, the ball slowly rolled into the net behind a rooted Lloris. The highest tier of comedy that only Spurs could produce.
Match To Forget
Burnley 0 – 1 Arsenal. A match truly has to be dreadful if a winning result pips a 0-0 stalemate (looking at you, Man City vs Southampton). In a match that blossomed into an unironic relegation scrap, only a slice of set-piece magic from Martin Odegaard was enough to separate the two teams. Aubameyang’s inability to find the back of the net is strangling Arsenal’s offence at a time where the Gunners need their £250k-per-week star to lead the line.
Performance to Forget
Salomon Rondon (0 Goals, 0 Assists, 1 Shot Off Target, 38% Passing Accuracy, 0/6 Ground Duels, 5/14 Aerial Duels Won, 11 Times Possession Lost). It was a less than stellar return to the Premier League for the big Venezuelan forward. Featuring in his first PL start since 2019, Rondon was sorely off the pace. After plying his trade in the farmer’s leagues (China then Russia), Rondon frankly looked unfit and unable to cope with the intensity of the English League. Based on his £154k-per-week salary in China, Rondon’s commanding salary had already irked Everton fans. If the troubles aren’t resolved on the pitch, Rondon could be the dreaded ‘flop of the summer’.
Max Kilman (0 Clearances, 0 Tackles, 1 Error Leading to Goal, 0/2 Ground Duels, 1/4 Aerial Duels, 10 Times Possession Lost, 1/4 Long Balls). Ivan Toney breaks players, Max Kilman can vouch. Out-paced, out-muscled and out-thought on the pitch, Toney physically and positionally left Kilman chasing shadows all match. It didn’t help that Wolves continued to actively avoid the goal at the opposite end, but Kilman’s poor performance stuck out in a disspirited team display.
Steviano (Brighton 2 – 1 Leicester). In a true pick-em match-up, Steviano rose above the rest with a score-line bang on the money.
Predictor of the Week
Steviano (4/10 Results, 2/10 Scores). Across a quiet weekend of correct results for the Pintsized boys, Steviano at least secured a couple of impressive scorelines.
Dunce of the Week
Ryan/Pint. Do you prefer an extra result, or an extra scoreline? Not much to choose between the two dossers, expect much more for Matchday 6.
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